System Quotebook

"I want to be returned to the freezer where I belong."

"It'll be so incomprehensible you won't even be able to comprehend it."

"Give me your information, I can't do a fucking thing with the interrogation lamp."
[Crowley then hears Aziraphale start typing this quote over the call they're in.]
"Aziraphale, preserve my dignity, of which I have plenty."

[Waking up, half asleep, picking up a scolipede plush and bringing it to his ear.]
"Your sins outweigh the cells within your bloodstream."

"I didn't fall, I just vaguely sqwimbled downwards."

"Sorry about the tit echo."

"Just because I was going to vivisect you doesn't mean I'm going to vivisect him."

"Tit warning, level: catastrophic."

"I'm not bedrotting, I'm marinating. I'm not done cooking."

"Holds your mouth closed. Do you need to breathe? Think about your actions!"

[Crowley: Are you trying to drown me?]
"Drowning and waterboarding are juust different enough that I can claim there was no attempted murder. Waterboarding doesn't kill people."

"I think people should explode when they oppose me."

"I love digesting my children."

"I need ULTRAsugar in my ULTRAcoffee or I'll ULTRA-fucking-die.

"I'm not pathetic, I'm Satoru Gojo."

[Our mother: You don't swing that way, though.]
"Actually, I'm versatile. I'm like one of those revolving doors. A spinny bitch."

"I feel like my insides have been raptured."
[Soul: You mean ruptured?]
"Huh? Oh, no, I mean raptured. Yoinked and yeeted straight to the afterlife with a one-way ticket. And they don't have ticket booths down there so they won't be coming back for a while."

"I do apologise. You were just within bone cracking range."

"Stay away from my coffee or I'll turn you from 'flies' into 'walks'."

"Holds you with my ribs."

"Cap that says 'Countries want me, ribs fear me'."

"I wonder.. if I try really really hard.... Can I decompose quickly? Like...... so quickly that scientists cry. I want to scare them.... Keep em on their toes."

"It's just like hydrophobic except for homos. The gays just slide right off of me and pool into a puddle at my feet."

"You were meant to be born into a fucking musical."

"No! You know what? I'm not going to be a himbo anymore! I'm going to be a..... mean.... person?"

"My body wants to be snoring but my soul wants to be whoring."

"I think everyone wants to eat their bicycles."

"So false, worstie!"

"You know what? Fuck you. Magnuses your Archives."

"If you're cold, they're cold. Let them in your soup."

"Chaos and twisted lies and psychotic delusions are in my pants."

[Azalea: Do you have biblically accurate genitals?]
"Mine cannot be contained within the bible."

" I could break every tiny little bone in your body... And every big one too! Can't forget the big ones!"
[Vince: I don't have any.]
".. And why do you think that is, Archivist? Where do you think they went?"

"I would value being anything but a scientific marvel, if I were you. Just a friendly warning :]"

"You're just scared of the Hey There Delilah bikini rat. You know what? YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM!"

"Hold on. Freezer Burn would be a sick ass name. Wait, no, like. Frostburn. Someone hire me, I can name your villains."

"If you suck? People will think you suck. Simple."

"Local babygirl Tomura Shigaraki drawing in the sugar daddies as usual. Why was that a thing I just typed lmao. Fuck."

"Hey, shut up. Shut up. I'm gonna blow up like a nuke. I'm gonna go nuke mode if you keep talking."

"Shoto. Shoto help. I'm going through character development. My character is developing. Help me."

"Abstain..... Do not partake in the bbq..... Sinful times are ahead.."

"I'm sorry i implied you give birth."

"I'm not planning to piss your pants, Shrapnel."

"What is a disease if not dlc?"

"Centipedes are pole dancers."

"Who is dilla and why do they have a ques?"

"Why doesn't she want to step up?"
[Shrapnel: Your hands afflict ailments.]
"Why won't she accept me despite the ailments? They're only minor ailments. Like disintegration."

"Shh. I'm freaking it fag style."

[Vince: Have you ever tasted a man--]
[Onslaught: No, I'm heterofl--]
[Vince: NO. NO. I mean like. Flesh biting killing ripping viscera. Muscles being torn asunder. Stripped down to bone by teeth and claw. Taste.]
"I might have done both!"

"Why is there a manipulated tampon on the counter?"

"Every single time I hear 'bakudeku slime' repeat in my brain, is one more time that I'm going to kill the creator of that fucking video in a time loop." (For legal reasons this is a joke.)

"I do enjoy them."
[Shoto: Then why'd you kill them?]
"'Cause they were there."

"The piss can wait! THE PISS CAN WAIT!!"

"FUCK Tomura Shigaraki!"
[Shigaraki: You promise?]
"NO!!!!"

"Saving a child from being hit by a car, only to beat them and shoot them 7 times point blank with a shotgun does not make you a hero, Sukuna."

[Heart: This is abuse.]
"This is chess."

"You have a new life now, new beginnings, new start. So shut the fuck up."

"You did good. You didn't Sukuna too close to the sun."

"Your take may be hot, but soon your body will be cold."

[Riddle: Archivist?]
"Call me that and you're having every cell in your body sorted into filing cabinets."

"Ice breakers suck, I'm never asking questions again, from now on you'll have to ask ME questions. I'm hosting a QNA panel on how to be fucking sick both spiritually and mentally let's GO!"

"You don't get between a white person and his cheese."

[Gradually getting louder.]
"How annoying can one person be, or a group of people, how can you have this many friends when you are SUCH AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING SHITSTAIN! Anyway."

"The council is coming for us..........Prepare the queers."

"Put me in the corn, boys."

"Fucking hell I'm faggy. Look at this. What's the fucking word? Fuck. Uh.... SLAYING CUNT!"

"I wish I had bones, so they could be pried open."

"I WANT EYES!!!"
[The lights flicker and the fan in the room turns off for a moment.]
"See, the weirdly timed electrical surge agrees with me."

"Hiii!"
[Shrapnel: ...Hi?]
"I'm going to enter you now!!"
[It meant "cofront with you".]

"You are pink."
[Sukuna: Yeah.]
"Are you a flamingo?"
[Sukuna: No.]
"You're not pink because of eat?"
[Sukuna: No.]
"Am I pink?"
[Sukuna: No.]
"Ok. I don't think flamingos count as people."
[This was borderline sleep-talking.]